The reality for many first-time parents is:

• "I don’t know if I’m doing [insert any baby-related skills] right."
• "I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet."
• "I had no idea that was even a thing! Should I have known that?" (Cue immense guilt)

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As a postpartum doula in Toronto, I hear this from newborn parents every day. The truth is, there’s no instruction manual for parenting, and that uncertainty can feel overwhelming.

But the good news? Confidence in newborn care is something you can build, slowly but surely. Whether you're navigating those first diaper changes, soothing a fussy baby, or wondering if you're "doing it right," here are 8 ways to boost your confidence as a first-time parent.

And remember - there is no "right" or single way to care for a baby. What works for you and your baby, stick to that. Don't let your neighbourhood aunties tell you otherwise.

1. Reframing Your Mindset

Imagine walking into a classroom and being handed an exam in a language you don’t understand. You recognize a few words, but the rest? Complete mystery. You’re expected to pass with flying colours, and if you don’t, you’re made to feel like a failure.

That’s exactly what newborn care feels like for many first-time parents.

If your best friend were given that test, would you expect them to ace it? Of course not. So why do we expect ourselves to instinctively know everything about newborn care without any training?

Tip: Stop expecting yourself to be perfect at a job you were never trained for. You’re learning as you go, and that’s okay.

2. Taking It One Skill at a Time

Believing that you as a parent should know everything about your baby’s care is unrealistic and overwhelming. Trying to master everything at once is a recipe for stress. Instead, focus on learning one baby-care skill at a time—whether it’s diapering, swaddling, burping, or soothing techniques. With time and practice, your confidence will grow, and these skills will become second nature.

Tip: Break things down. For example:

Day 1: Focus on practicing a good diaper-changing technique.

Day 2: Learn how to swaddle properly.

Day 3: Experiment with different burping positions

3. Learning Your Baby’s Cues

Crying isn’t just crying—it’s a form of communication. Babies have different cries for hunger, discomfort, tiredness, and overstimulation. This will take some time, but you will start to learn to recognize your baby’s cues, you’ll start to feel more in sync with their needs.

It’s similar to learning to understand your partner’s mood. The lack of eye contact or suddenly getting quiet - these might be cues of “hangry” kicking in (guilty as charged). 

Tip: Pay attention to pre-cry signals, like sucking on hands (hunger) or rubbing eyes (tiredness), to build your confidence in responding proactively.

Before you know it, these skills will become second nature!

4. Find Your Parenting Style (Not Someone Else’s)

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to parenting. What works for one baby might not work for yours—and that’s absolutely okay.

Instead of comparing yourself to other parents on social media, focus on what feels right for you and your baby. Confidence comes from trusting your instincts, not someone else’s highlight reel.

Here's an example: You can say something like, "my parenting style is not dictated by a rigid schedule but based on when, what and how my baby shows cues". What this could mean is that instead of sticking to a rigid 2-hr feeding schedule where the baby might not even want a bottle, feed the baby within a 2-4 hour window and when they show signs of hunger (lip smacking, sucking on their fist, etc). This way, you feel a little more relaxed after watching an Instagram Reel that insinuated that you're a bad parent if you didn't feed every 2 hours. Ugh.

The opposite can be true. You can say something like, "my parenting style and what feels right to me is feeding the baby every 2-3 hours, no matter what." Some people feel less overwhelmed when they have a schedule and that's fine! 

Ultimately, if the baby is gaining weight and wetting their diaper (8-12 times a day), your baby is being fed enough and they're doing great.

5. Leaning on Postpartum Support

Parenting was never meant to be done alone. Cultures worldwide have built-in postpartum support systems, yet many new parents in North America (I feel and see this a ton in Toronto and GTA where I work) feel isolated after birth. Once your baby is here, they kind of go, "Off you go! Good luck!"... But like, go where? How?

Asking for help from a trusted friend, family member or neighbour could make a world of difference. The keyword here is trust. Do you trust that this person won't make judgemental comments? Will they hold space and respect you with compassion?

When asking for help, you could be specific about what you need help with. For example, “I’d love your help with holding my baby while I go take a shower and have just a bit of time to myself. After that, I just want to have a catch-up like old times!” 

Having a postpartum doula can help bridge the gap between uncertainty and confidence. A doula provides hands-on guidance, answers your questions, and reassures you that you’re doing a great job—even when you doubt yourself. 

6. Getting Comfortable with Trial & Error

Parenting is a learning process. If one soothing method doesn’t work, try another. If your baby resists a certain swaddle, adjust your approach.

Each time you problem-solve, you’re building confidence—even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Like I said in #1, you're expected to nail a language exam without actually knowing about the language. So give yourself a break, practice lots and lots, and you will get to a stage where you feel confident and comfortable. 

7. Educating Yourself (But Avoiding Information Overload)

Knowledge is power, but too much information can be overwhelming. Instead of consuming every parenting book, video, or social media post, stick to trusted resources that align with your values. Another tip could be that, follow 2-3 social media accounts run by people you trust and feel more connected to and then un-follow the rest. It's overwhelming when you follow conflicting accounts (though it's important to hear out two sides of the argument) and it's okay to unfollow if their content doesn't resonate with you. There are thousands of accounts out there!

Great learning options:

• A newborn care class or parenting workshop.
• Evidence-based books & articles about newborn development.
• A doula or healthcare provider.

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence doesn’t come from knowing everything—it comes from realizing you’ve handled things before and can do it again.

• Did you soothe your baby today? That’s a win.
• Did you make it through a tough night? That’s a win.
• Did you trust your instincts? That’s a HUGE win.

Each day, take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come. You are doing awesome.

Final Thoughts: Confidence Comes with Time

Feeling unsure as a first-time parent is completely normal, but with time, patience, and the right support, you’ll start to trust yourself more.

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Want more personalized support?  As a postpartum doula, I help new parents navigate the early days of newborn care with hands-on guidance and emotional support, both in-person and online. Let’s chat!

📩 Contact me HERE to learn how postpartum doula support can help you feel more confident as a new parent.