Taking Time for Yourself as Parents and Reconnecting with Your Partner

Kana | Your Neighbourhood Doula

Why Taking Time for Yourself as a Parent is Essential for Your Relationship and Well-Being

Let’s be real: parenting is a lot. Like, a lot a lot. You’re constantly on the go, and if you're not wiping a tiny butt or dealing with the latest sleep regression, you're probably making sure you don't forget about your partner... or, ya know, yourself. But guess what? It’s totally okay to hit the pause button and take a breather – even from your partner and baby.


In fact, it’s essential. A little "me time" can do wonders for your relationship, your well-being, and your sanity. I think we can all agree that when we give ourselves permission to chill out, we show up a little better than before.


The Importance of Self-Care in Parenthood

Let’s not sugarcoat it: becoming a parent is a life-changing event. And by life-changing, I mean your whole routine goes out the window. Suddenly, you're juggling baby bottles, laundry, and your partner’s attempts to make conversation in between diaper changes. Or maybe you're getting snappy with each other because they're not soothing the baby the "right" way. But here’s the kicker – you’re allowed to want some time to yourself.


Self-care isn’t about spa days (although, let’s be real, we’d all love one of those). It’s about hitting the reset button every now and then – even if that means locking yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes of peace or taking a walk by yourself while your partner does their best impersonation of a human jungle gym. Taking a little time to recharge doesn’t make you a bad parent. In fact, it makes you a better one. You’re like a phone that needs charging. Without it, you won’t be able to give 100% to anyone – including your little bundle of joy.


Understanding Your Need for Space

So, picture this: it’s the weekend, your mom's got the baby for the weekend (praise be), and your partner says, “Hey, want to do something together like the old times?” And what do you say? “I want to hang with myself.”


And you know what? That’s totally okay. It’s more than okay – it’s necessary. As much as you love your partner (and the baby, obviously), sometimes you just need a breather. Parenthood can feel like a never-ending cycle of being needed by everyone, and you deserve to take a little time for yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner, it just means you love yourself enough to know when you need a mental vacation.


Reconnecting with Your Partner

Now, while taking time for yourself is key to surviving this parenting thing, it’s also important to reconnect with your partner when you can. Between all the baby cries and diaper explosions, it can be easy to forget what it’s like to be a couple, not just parents and roommates. But don’t worry – it doesn’t have to be a big romantic gesture to feel connected.


Here are 10 questions that can help you both reconnect and keep things intimate (or at least get a good laugh out of each other):


  1. What’s one thing you’re really grateful for about our relationship right now?
  2. How can I support you today – emotionally, mentally, or physically?
  3. What’s one thing you miss most about our time before baby?
  4. How are you feeling about the balance of responsibilities at home?
  5. What’s one small thing I can do today to make you feel loved and appreciated?
  6. How do you want to celebrate just the two of us, once things settle down a bit more?
  7. What’s something new you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a parent?
  8. What’s something that’s been on your mind that we haven’t talked about yet?
  9. How can we make time for intimacy, even if it’s just a small moment in the day?
  10. How are we doing as a team, and is there anything we can improve on together?


These questions will help you get a little deeper than the typical “How was your day?” and keep that connection alive.


Bonus questions:

  1. What was a "wtf" moment you've experienced so far in parenthood?
  2. What's the cutest thing that our baby has done?
  3. What's the weirdest thing that our baby has done?


These might even spark a few giggles – which is exactly what you need after weeks of nonstop baby duty.


Conclusion

Parenthood is tough. No one’s saying it isn’t. But here’s the thing: it’s okay to need a break.  Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you any less of a parent – it makes you a more balanced, less stressed, and overall better version of yourself. So, don’t feel guilty for taking a little “me time,” whether that’s 10 minutes to drink your coffee in peace or a whole weekend of solo plans. You’ll come back ready to tackle parenthood head-on – and maybe even enjoy a little more quality time with your partner while you’re at it.


So go ahead, take a break. You deserve it!


Looking for ways to manage your postpartum and need a bit of support? I got you. I offer virtual postpartum doula services so you can get your questions answered and worries reduce.


Book a consultation call HERE so you can have a pocket doula :)

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